What Is a Eulogy and How to Write One

Writing a eulogy can feel like a daunting task — especially during a time of grief. But it’s also a special opportunity: a way to honour someone’s memory, celebrate their life, and share cherished stories with family and friends.

At Gaunts of Wollaston, we understand how personal this moment can be. Whether you’ve been asked to give a eulogy or have volunteered to speak, this guide will walk you through what a eulogy is and how to write one with confidence and heart.

What Is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or tribute delivered at a funeral or memorial service. It’s typically given by a close friend, family member, or sometimes a celebrant, and it reflects on the life, character, and legacy of the person who has died.

The purpose of a eulogy is to:

Share memories or milestones from the person’s life
Highlight their values, achievements, and personality
Offer comfort and connection to those in attendance

Eulogies are not meant to be perfect — they’re meant to be personal. Whether heartfelt, humorous, emotional, or a mixture of all three, what matters most is that the words are genuine.

Who Gives a Eulogy?

Traditionally, a close family member or friend gives the eulogy. However, it could also be:

A colleague
A spiritual leader
A celebrant (especially if family prefers not to speak)
More than one person (in a shared tribute)

If you're unsure whether you should deliver a eulogy, speak to the family or the funeral director. They can help you understand the wishes of those closest to the deceased.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

A eulogy typically lasts between 3 to 7 minutes — roughly 500 to 1,000 words. Aim to keep it short enough to hold attention, but long enough to meaningfully reflect the person’s life.

If multiple people are speaking, it’s best to stay toward the shorter end of the range.

How to Write a Eulogy: Step-by-Step

Here’s a simple structure to help you get started:

1. Gather Your Thoughts

Begin by reflecting on the person’s life:

What moments stand out?
What did they love — hobbies, interests, causes?
What were their values?
What made them unique?

You might speak to family members and friends to gather stories or perspectives that can help shape the tribute.

2. Start with an Introduction

Let the audience know who you are and how you knew the person:

“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sarah, and I was lucky enough to call James my big brother.”

3. Share Stories and Qualities

Choose 2–4 stories or traits that show who they were. These could include:

Funny or touching anecdotes
Moments that highlight their kindness, humour, work ethic, or love for others
Life milestones: achievements, family, service, passions

Don’t worry about listing every detail of their life — focus on what paints a meaningful picture.

4. Offer Reflection or Farewell

Conclude with a few words that sum up their impact, express gratitude, or offer a goodbye:

“Though we will miss her every day, we are grateful for the laughter, love, and memories she gave us.”

5. Practice Out Loud

Once written, read your eulogy aloud. This helps you:

Check the length and flow
Edit for clarity
Feel more confident delivering it

Bring a printed copy with you, and it’s perfectly okay to read it word for word if you need to.

Tips for Writing and Speaking with Confidence

Be yourself — speak naturally, as if talking to a friend.
Keep it sincere — you don’t need to be overly poetic or formal.
Don’t worry about emotions — it’s perfectly okay to cry or pause. No one expects perfection.
Have a backup — if you’re concerned about becoming overwhelmed, ask someone to be prepared to step in.

In Summary

Writing a eulogy is a heartfelt way to say goodbye and celebrate someone’s life. Whether you're honouring a parent, friend, partner, or grandparent, your words will be appreciated by everyone gathered.

At Gaunts of Wollaston, we’re here to help every step of the way — whether you need advice on writing a eulogy, organising the funeral service, or simply someone to talk to. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch.